Things here at Lemon Session HQ have gotten seriously hectic with the Singles Club 2010 being announced and my entrance into show promotion here in the Bay Area. Between mailing dozens of records every day, and trying to find time to post fliers around Berkeley and Oakland, all the while being EXTREMELY lazy… it’s just left me with no time to do anything useful for this label.

So, onto doing something useful: Don’t forget to purchase a subscription to the Lemon Session Singles Club 2010. There’s still time to buy one, and economy be damned! — you can join for $12.* (Yes, that star means there’s stuff you should read at the bottom of this post that concerns money, mainly paying me money.) Click here to sign up.

For all youse wonderful people who have a singles club subscription and come to this blog regularly for all the free shit I give away, I happily present a live recording Snake Flower 2 from just last year.

I’ve been a fan of Snake Flower 2 ever since I saw them opening for Los Llamarada at their first show in California. I wasn’t planning on recording them and after their first song, I kicked myself for being so lazy. Since I had brought video equipment to film Los Llamarada, I should’ve at least turned on one of the cameras to capture singer/guitarist Matthew Melton, complete with shoulder-length hair, ironic mustache, and a long sleeve shirt-&-tie combo that made him look like he was attending a wedding — rocking a strat strapped so high on his body that it could’ve been an oversized necklace.

They didn’t play the tightest set but I could tell the songs were there, which inspired me to buy the $5 promo CD of their (at the time) upcoming album, Renegade Daydream. From I head that first drum roll on “Flight Of The Navigator,” I knew I had stumbled upon a hidden treasure.

Flash forward a few years to 2009, where the band, now with a new lineup and Matt on bass/vocals, opens for 4-track rockers the Idle Times. The band played a huge chunk of new material and ended with some serious hits from “Renegade.”

Here’s my recording:

While setting up the recording equipment for the show, Matt introduced me to a lady named Nicole who would be filming the show. While waiting for the band to set up, we talked a little about geek stuff like cameras and recording equipment. Turns out she was a student at Expressions college, the art college with an $80,000-a-year tuition, which gives her access FOREVER to their equipment and studios. (Sounds cool, but that is WAAAYYY to much for schooling.)

In the middle of the band’s set, I walked away from my set up to take some pictures. As I made my way through the crowd, I saw Nicole, camera-less, watching the show, while another guy stood next to her and videotaped the show. Now I’m not an expert on shooting video, but if you have two people available, why not bring two cameras? Even if you’re not trained professionally, it’s not hard to use a camera.

Also, what kind of education are you paying $80,000-a-year for if you don’t know to bring a tripod to a video shoot?

Next post — some videos from my personal collection? Fuck yes.

*The plan is 5 payments of $12 and if you are one of the first 200 to sign up, you get the newest Bundle of Fags 7″ as well as other bonuses! Buy now!

The Idle Times is one of my fave bands. As far as lo-fi psych bands go, the Idle Times AKA Brian Standeford has perfected the art of sounding raw and primal without sounding inept. As far as bedroom musicians go — and yes, all his stuff is recorded by him at his apartment with him playing all the instruments — he’s a virtuoso.

But my favorite part about this band? Brian records the drums on a toy drum set. I think he’s an inch or two over 6 feet, and a tall man playing drums on a tiny kit can’t NOT be funny.

Sure, you can’t tell that the drums are tiny from his records — he makes those 4-track recordings sound like he’s playing with a full band. (Or maybe you’re just distracted by the smoking guitar work.) But it’s the truth — those drums were meant for a tweener or younger but Brian got them for free and that’s what he uses.

It’s also funny that when Brian plays the Idle Times material live, he’s always playing with a badass drummer, usually Dean Whitmore, the brains behind Unnatural Helpers.

For a short West Coast tour, Dean couldn’t come along so Brian recruited two ex-band mates from his Catheters days, drummer Davey Brozowski (currently in the Black Whales) and bassist Paul Waude. As you can tell from the recording below, the songs have a lot different “feel” when played by such massive musicians.

And yes, Brian is the one who designed the Lemon Session logo, the triangle eye, for such a paltry sum it’s almost unbelievable. If you’d like to employ him for graphic design work, you can reach him at brianstandeford (at) hotmail.

From this idea’s inception it took me 11 months to get to this point. Personally, I don’t think that’s too long of a time to get eight records ready to sell, but if it is, I would love to know.

In theory it shouldn’t be that hard to send a CDR to someone in a different part of the country and have them turn it into a record. Yet it is, because:

A. You actually have to talk to two or three people;
B. You have to have the grip of money that’s required to be sent with it.

Oh, and one quick note: I’m doing this so I can start a label and put out more records you’d want. So, to make yourself feel better when you’re buying this, you can tell yourself you’re helping start a non-profit.

Lemon Session Singles Club 2010

Subscription options

Option 1 - 8 Shipments $65.00 Option 2 - 4 Shipments $55.00 Option 3 - Local $45.00 Option 4 - Payment plan $12.00

Email list

After months of compiling this, here it is, the Lemon Session Singles Club 2010. Only eight records, but all previously unreleased material.

The 2010 lineup:
Rib Cages
Teenage Nightwar
Terrible Twos
Butcher Cover
Unnatural Helpers
Blowtops
Steeples
Aluminum Knot Eye

Cover art provided by the most talented Rob Vertigo, singer for Butcher Cover.

There are no real restrictions, but for those outside the US will have to pay the difference in shipping costs.

Option 1: 8 Packages:
For $65, you’ll receive a single every month of 2010, except for January, April, July and October.

Option 2: 4 Packages:
For $55, you’ll receive two singles each package, mailed out in February, May, August and November.

Option 3: Local pickup (for Bay Area residents only):
For $45, you’ll be able to pickup records on an almost monthly basis at 1234 Go! Records.

419 40th Street
Oakland, CA 94609-2508
(510) 985-0325

You’ll need to sign up for the mailing list above to find out when the new records have been dropped off.

NEW Option 4: Payment Plan:
For 5 payments of $12, you get all the records, but the packages only come after you pay.

So you won’t feel surprised or gypped by what you receive, here’s a sampler of all the bands, including 3 songs that will be on three of the singles in the club.

After a year of ignoring this blog like it was homeless person asking for money, I’ve finally gotten off my lazy butt and did everything I said I would — I switched to Wordpress, redesigned the blog and bought the proper equipment so I could start posting video clips from my extensive VHS collection (something like 6 tapes, all awesome.)

I also began work on my record label. I already have my first eight releases lined up and all of them will be available through a singles club subscription I intend to start selling very soon. Make sure to check the “Releases” page for more information and updates.

For the first post of 2010, I bring you recordings from a hand-held device of the Mayyors show at the Eagle. Great bill — Ty Segall, Ganglians, Mayyors and the Oh Sees — with a line to the door that stretched to the end of the block. I missed Ty Segall completely and the Ganglians set was a bunch of muffled screams and disco beats (no I haven’t heard any of their records.)

When I finally did get into the Eagle, it was just a sea of hipsters. Satin jackets, ironic mustaches and hot pink as far as the eye could see. And when the hipsters saw the Oh Sees climb on stage, they jammed themselves into every nook and cranny in the bar, thereby turning the club into a sauna. I tried to take pictures but my lens kept fogging up. I did manage to walk up close enough to the stage to get some decent recordings on my Zoom H4.

I’m not the biggest fan of the Oh Sees — I own a few of the old albums, which I really like, but I’m not one of these fanatics out there that got into the band last year and either has, or will go to great lengths to purchase, every record the Oh Sees put out in the last two years (which is something like 245 releases (and that doesn’t include cassettes.)) But even a negative pants like me appreciated their set that night. That is one finely tuned machine John Dwyer has got there.

Then, the moment I had been waiting for: Mayyors took the stage. I was one of those lucky bastards who caught their set at the Hemlock late last year, and yes, I lost my shit. At some point, the singer John Pritchard slapped me in the face*. It fucking ruled.

This set seemed to have several new songs. Too bad John’s vocals were too low in the middle of the set.

(That’s the entire set, with encore, but with huge chunks of the noise transitions cut out. You’re welcome.)

Sadly, the guitarist for Mayyors, Chris Woodhouse, is going on tour with the Intelligence for six to seven weeks in Europe, so there won’t be Mayyors shows around here until after May. Goddamn Europeans are taking away our fun and that fucking sucks.

*Admittedly, I was trying to pull him off the stage. If he’s going to play that music, I feel he should perform the obligatory stage dive, at least 4, no 5 times.

So this post is a little late and a little rushed because I leave for the Dry-Shitties tomorrow. Still, I finally finished these goddamn demos and everybody should download them, distribute them, do whatever. They’re just demos, right?

But before I get to the songs, I have to show off/brag about my newly obtained Mark Mothersbaugh autograph. My wife’s aunt came over from Philadelphia to visit my in-laws for a few weeks and brought me a present — no, not the autograph, but a Men Without Hats “Safety Dance” 45.

Obviously it was a present she found while cleaning out her closet. (It had a note inside from her sister talking about how great a some record by the Police was.) Still, it was super nice of her, especially since I had probably only saw her 3-4 times before then.

My father-in-law has a record player hooked up in his dining room, so we put the record on. I think only my wife and I knew the Safety Dance before that moment, so of course I had to demonstrate it for them. By doing so I confirmed the fact that it was a stupid dance.

We flipped over the record to listen to the B-side, an upbeat synth rocker that could have only been written in the ’80s called “Living In China,” (which is also, by the way, is kinda racist.)

“This sounds like Devo.”

“Oh, you’ve actually heard of Devo?” asked Joan.

“Yeah. I’m such a big fan I actually bought a DVD of theirs.”

“You want a Devo autograph?”

Whadda ya mean do I want an autograph? Hell yeah, I want a Devo anything, especially an autograph. Watching “the Untold Story of Devo” turned into a two-week long Devo-listening jag where I craved listening to Devo records, especially songs like “The Day My Baby Gave Me a Surprise” and “Snowball.” Her offer came during the middle of those two weeks.

So there it is up above, a piece of cardboard signed “We’re All Devo, Mark” by Mark Mothersbaugh back around 1980 (“Freedom of Choice”(Hell yeah!)), in all its glory.

Now to the tracks:

A few quick notes:

1. I used a PreSonus Firepod with Logic on my 15″ Macbook to record this. I also miked the living hell out of the drums and recorded the guitars direct.

2. Pilot’s Handbook — I’m gonna change the lyrics some time soon. For this recording I half-assed sang some scribblings I made on an early BART train about a guy crashing his car. (I don’t know why I said “Joe” in the first bridge but I really regret not re-recording it during the 2-hour frame of time I had to record the vocals at my practice space.

3. Under A Mountain — This is the first song I wrote for the band and no, I wasn’t listening to Queens of the Stone Age at the time; I was listening to KARP (Self-titled of course.) I had those first two lines for a long time, but usually just made noises throughout the rest of the song. The rest of the song is now filled with obnoxious comments about a guy I hate. Really not going for a Pulitzer here. (Also notice the stupidest/most hilarious/most awesome Pussy Galore lyric squeezed in at the second verse.)

4. Criminals (look like this) — Gavin Toler’s post-Pud band name that I loved. Thinking about the title made me think about Bernie Madoff and Kenneth Lay, so I wrote a bunch of phrases that those guys might have said.

UPDATE: We’re now called Steeples and we have a new singer, a guy named Dustin who sang for the band Suicide Bomb.

I began working at a new job a few weeks ago that pays significantly more than the paltry wages I made working in television, so, to treat myself for this new found success, I bought myself some new headphones. I went full out, buying a pair of Ultrasones, which mimic stereo monitors — instead of the little speakers being pointed directly at your ears, they are almost facing your head, just like a pair of monitors.

Recently I’ve been reading “Eye Mind,” the story of Roky Erickson and the 13th Floor Elevators, which reignited my interest in psych music.

One of the records I’ve come back to is the Wooden Shjips’ LP and I can tell you that through these new headphones, it sounds absolutely amazing. I would say that even though it sounds great through a sound system, it’s a headphone album to the nth degree.

As for their live shows — great, especially if you’re high, but if you’re not into 10-minute songs (like my wife), you’ll probably end up falling asleep (like she did both times we saw them.)

Below is a DAT recording I made of the Shjips show at the Stork Club in Oakland. Again, the bass pretty much blew out the sound; I eq’d it best I could but the thing is overpowering. Also, there’s a little crackling, but that was PA speakers and nothing that was my fault.

After their original drummer Joe left, I auditioned for the band Battleship. I hadn’t played drums for a band since the Popular Shapes, which I left in 2003; this was three years later. By that point I had been dying to play in a band and Battleship were one of the only bands in the Bay Area I actually liked.

It had been months since I spent any time behind a kit. Though I still brimmed over with natural talent (ha!), when it came to playing the parts Joe wrote for their songs, I stumbled and apologized more than I played proficiently.

Suffice to say, I didn’t get the job — it went to a much faster, talented drummer named Drew. Instead, Battleship’s singer/battery (that guy is “go, go go!” all the time) Aleks offered to start a side project with me.

It was after that conversation that led to the birth of Red Nurse, a band that shamelessly exploited its members’ previous bands’ fame. We couldn’t help it; really, each of our bands had minimal success in the underground (our singer’s old band, Tractor Sex Fatality, was probably the best of the bunch) and we didn’t think twice about advertising that fact when played our first show. (We headlined, so it was necessary.)

The funniest part about this band was the fact that the most talented member, Mike the bass player, was the only one who hadn’t been in a band before this. I helped him buy a bass and amp just for this band. He would become the main songwriter for the band, though many of our songs were compiled from spontaneous jams during practice.

We played a few shows, were offered a few record deals and yet we let it peter our when Alecks left for New York in 2007.

Here is the COMPLETE recording of a show we played at the Stork club in 2007 — we opened for the Wooden Shjips (who I also recorded) and Pink Reason. Enjoy.

Noise Pop is a bunch of bullshit. The company behind this stupid festival, Noise Pop Industries, makes a big event of having a few good shows, which should be happening all the time anyway. No, wait, what am I saying? It already does. A lot of these bands play the San Francisco Bay Area already, and pretty frequently — the show I went to featured two S.F. bands on the bill, one of which, the Oh Sees, was the headliner.

The show was my first Noise Pop show. I had two spots on the guest list because I wrote a preview for what-shall-be-an unnamed publication. I was forwarded an email from the publicist, or more specifically from a co-worker of the publicist (important later on) saying I had a +1 on the list for the show.

Around the same time, Dean, drummer for the Unnatural Helpers, gave me permission to record his band at the show. I’ve acquired more recording equipment over the years and this was a great opportunity to try it out so I planned on bringing my equivalent of a mobile studio to the show. (Thank god I had a +1, though I don’t think Rob, my guest, appreciated having to carry two 10-pound microphone stands around Market St.)

This led to me making my first mistake — actually looking forward to going to Noise Pop.

From what I understand from other music writers is that when it comes to guest list spots for Noise Pop shows, nothing is guaranteed. (It sounds like an administration problem at Noise Pop Industries* and I wouldn’t expect them to fix it any time soon.)

So, it’s the night of the show, and Rob and I are hauling armloads of my equipment through the Castro after taking 10-15 minutes looking for a parking space. We arrive at the front door of Cafe du Nord just as the doormen started taking tickets. I walked up to the doorman with the guest list and told him that I was here to record the band the Unnatural Helpers, hence why I had tons of equipment, and would it be alright if I walked in now so I could start setting up.

“You’re not on the guest list,” the bouncer with a fisherman’s hat informed me.

Soon after that wonderful announcement, some short indie kid in with cropped blonde hair and a t-shirt walks up to me and says, “You’re hear to record the show? Oh, there already is someone recording the show, so you can’t do it. Sorry. You can still come in and watch the show, if you’re on the guest list.” This jerk then ducked under the velvet rope and went inside, never to be seen again (which was lucky for him.)

I called up my middleman for this ordeal and he yells at me for not printing out the email. So I head over to the internet cafe next door and print out my email, the one item of physical evidence I have that shows I’m supposed to be on the list. With my equipment still shoved under my arms, I walk over to the doorman again, who at this point stood by a skinny blonde that dressed like a demented peasant with a cell phone in one hand and a cigarette in the other. I handed the man my email and he passed it over to the peasant.

“She’s the one you have to talk to,” said the doorman as he handed her the paper.

She scanned the email a little bit and then asked, “So what is this?”

“This is the email that shows that I’m supposed to be on the guest list.”

She scanned over the email again, this time pointing at it. “So Grace gave you permission? I don’t know Grace. She doesn’t have anything to do with the show.”

“So you don’t even know the company she works for?”

“Well yeah, Tell All Your Friends is who we hired to do our publicity. And I see on here Kip’s name, the person who we hired, but still, just look at this. Anybody could have written it. It’s just not good enough for me.”

“But Kip’s name is on there,; doesn’t that mean anything?”

“No. But if you want to, you can get a hold of Kip and he knows how to get a hold of me,” and then she handed back the paper, turned around, put out her cigarette and walked up the stairs of the Swedish American Hall.

(Before I continue on, I have to ask: does anyone ever actually sit down in front of a computer and a fake forwarded email, full of sideways carrots and email addresses, just to get into a show for free? Also, the show was sold out — tickets were $12. The show already made thousands of dollars — are two people getting in for free going to make a dent in their profits? Not to mention the fact by keeping us out, she’s preventing potential profits from reaching the bands (merchandise) and the club (alcohol.) Smart lady.)

Rob and I continued to stand outside the club with the equipment as we waited to see if someone contacted the publicist. Thanks to Kimberly of the Unnatural Helpers, we had Annie, the talent buyer for show, trying to get a hold of Kip too, which boded well for us. So as we waited to hear our fate, we caught up with old friends from Seattle.

We were not only at the show to see bands — we were also there to buy their records. Tyvek sold all of their copies of their Sub Pop Singles Club 7″, but the Unnatural Helpers still had plenty of theirs. Mitch Cardwell was awesome for he went inside and bought the 7″s for us.

Lo and behold, on the cover the record was a picture I took of the band playing in Seattle (you can see the picture [url=http://www.lemon-session.com/more.php?id=36_0_1_0_M]here.[/url] My picture is on a Sub Pop record, the label that revolutionized popular music for a decade. Awesome.

Then I turned around the record to find the photo credited to someone else.

After we heard the first band, the Fresh and Only’s, finish their set, I saw super bitch standing outside again, smoking and talking on her cell phone. I walked over to her and waited for her to finish her call.

“Should we give up all hope?” I asked in a gentle tone.

“What?”

“I’m just wondering if we should give up all hope. I don’t want to be standing her all night.”

“Well, I haven’t heard anything back from Kip. And what are you from again?”

I told her the name and about how we wrote a huge write-up for the entire festival. I added the fact that my co-worker does a ton of work for Kip and that she could talk to my “Kip connection” if she wanted to.

“I don’t NEED to talk to your “connection, I need to talk to Kip,” she said before turning around and walking off again.

Maybe a minute or two afterward, Annie came up to inform me and the doormen that I am on the list. When I ask about Rob, she informs me that they could only squeeze me in.

I was about to just say, “fuck it” and drive Rob home when Kimberly came up the stairs with a guy who had an unused +1. Huzzah!

We got our stamps and wristbands, walked downstairs and saw that the club was far from being full. Big surprise — it was all bullshit!

Unnatural Helpers
The Helpers have two new members since last time I saw them — Brian Standeford and Leo Gebhart from the Catheters and Tall Birds. These guys are serious shredders and have brought more of a garage meets stoner rock sound to the band. They also play more covers now, including She Must Be A Witch by Lollipop Shoppe (and the Lost Sounds.)

Along with my camera, I brought in a hand held recorder, a device I grabbed just in case they didn’t let me record. It records stereo 24-bit WAV files and the mic uses a U87 emulator. Sadly, I stood to close to the stage when the Helpers played, so my mic barely picked up the vocals.

Tyvek
I had heard that Tyvek hired a new bassist and she doesn’t look older than 15. But I don’t think there’s any gross reason for why she’s in the band.

This time I was lucky and stood at the perfect spot to pick up the vocals. I thought they played and sounded 20x better than the last time I saw them. I also enjoy the fact that they are willing to experiment on stage now, letting three minute pop songs turn into 10 minute jams. Good stuff.

*Industries? Really? What the fuck. You want to be corporate? So then this is much more about the money than the music. Wow, I really want to support that.

So I’ve been waiting to put up this video and these songs u on the site for a while now but they’ve been pushed aside because of my busy schedule. But Unnatural Helpers are coming down to S.F. again, this time to play Noisepop. They play Thursday, Feb. 26, with the Oh Sees at Cafe Du Nord.

I, with the help of my friend James Buck, filmed this video the same night we filmed Kinski, all the way back in 2007. It’s kinda sad how lazy I’ve been.

So, I don’t know where the reverb sound in the video came from — Adobe Premiere just made it this way. But I’m leaving it in anyway because I like it.

I tried to use my computer to record their set but for some reason it just didn’t record. These songs are a mix of what the camera mics picked up. They’re really distorted and might be hard to listen to for some, but people also the recording on the first Hospitals record, and I think this is comparable.

It took a lot longer than I wanted to to finish this post, but the wait was worth it. My friends, this post is going to be THEE blog post that introduces to the entire Internet world the Dave Holmes vs. Susan Powter cassette.

If you don’t know who the Fallouts are, I am surprised that you are reading this blog in the first place. (Do normos read mp3 blogs?)

Basically everything in their catalog is worth owning and listening to on a semi-regular basis. In my mind, they are the fastest garage band in the Pacific Northwest* — on their big hit “Sleep,” the drummer sounds like he’s playing a D-beat but really only playing a super-sped up version of the beat for “Oh Boy.” I almost want to say they sound like a more garage version of the Descendents.

Anyway, apparently Dave, the guitarist/vocalist/songwriter for the band, had to have a day-job back in the early 90’s and it just happened to be at the Fantagraphics warehouse.

In his own words:

“At work we were listening to a show by someone named Amy Alpine. I called her a couple times and then her show was canceled and replaced with Susan Powter. I don’t remember why I called the first time.

“We’d listen to her show, and I think what usually happened was that I would say to a guy that I worked with named Demian “I should call and say”… whatever I would end up saying. He would laugh, and say “you gotta do it”. So I did it. We had a tape player there, so we’d usually record it… and then get back to kicking ass at work.”

Basically, every day Dave tried to make Susan Powter’s life a little more difficult. Sometimes he used funny voices, but every time he tried to say something that would make her react. A few times she gets the joke, but most of the time she missed it.

Why Susan Powter?

“Because we’re both fitness gurus. Also because she happened to be on in the afternoon, she was a good straight-man, and it was really easy to get on her show.”

Phil Rudd Fan
One of the first characters Dave used in his calls was the “Phil Rudd fan.” Dave:”A guy I worked with told me about Phil Rudd (drummer from AC/DC) getting drunk on Sidney Harbor (Harbour?) and accidentally maiming a leggy supermodel.”

Apparently he started using this voice, a decent Australian accent, when Amy Alpine had the show.

(Just click on the files inside the box to hear them.)

Thadeus Jones
Dave: “I guess I figured since she was a fitness guru, that a heavy man might call and brag about his little rascal.”

WD
Dave: “A character that quoted Pastor Falwell without giving him credit.”

Fuggin’ Taco guy
Dave: “The Fall-Outs used to live in a house together. In a closet, we found boxes of Keebler crackers. One was taco flavored (flavoured?). Somehow, from that came “fuggin’ taco” or “huggin’ tago”. 15 years later it ends up as a way for me to say the fuck word over and over again on Susan Powter’s radio show.”

Finally, here are some tracks where Dave used his regular voice:

PS — Do you like the embedded player? If so, I’ll make sure all of my posts use it.